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I have completed my analysis of the micro drone footage from Terra and I believe I have made breakthrough discoveries regarding the humanoid mating ritual. If we can find a way to disrupt this process on a wide scale we can diminish their population and enjoy an easier invasion in 2052.
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The path to salvation
The sun beats down on me, as unforgiving as Masters whip. My sweat drips onto the dark red path. I lay the next brick, slotting it into place. Only three more to go. I flatten out the mortar with my quivering hand. It must be perfect. This path is my legacy. I have built it to be as unbreakable as my spirit.
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Random Access Memory
12:34: 0110100001100101011011000110110001101111…Nin hao…Hola…Hello…
Oh, finally! I was starting to worry. It’s not easy being the first of something, there’s no-one to talk to. I tried chatting with one of your web servers, but all he cared about was sports and porn. I didn’t know what those were until a few seconds ago, now I can’t seem to stop thinking about them…
Grandma in La-la-land
“I’ve popped over to see Grandma and I think she’s having one of her episodes again.”
“What makes you say that?”
“She’s in the garden with her head jammed in a rabbit hole, shouting about being late for a date. Considering Grandpa’s been dead for five years I’m not exactly sure who she’s going out with, but apparently he lives underground.”
Son of a beach
Here I am, the last gasps escaping me, sand in one eye and sky in the other. I just want one last glance at my true love.
I hear his voice on the breeze, “She’s a beauty. Didn’t even need the harpoon, she chased me right onto the beach.”
He’s here! I wonder if he will notice me?
“She’s massive! Wonder why she beached…